What if I can't do it?

I'm plagued by this question. I'm 22, and feeling very much like I'm having to make decisions and start thinking about things that I'm not ready for.

I'm right now (for whatever reason) on the UT MBA site, and thinking about the very idea of going to graduate school. Joe did it- in spades. He got in to a great school (well, the aforementioned great school) and has done amazingly.

I want to do well. I want nothing more than to throw myself into something and be rewarded for doing so. But I can't help but think that I'm maybe not up to it. What if I can't do it? What if I can't make it in a male-dominated industry? What if I can't handle the math side of getting an MBA? What if I don't get a good internship or job? What if I don't make friends?

Maybe it's justification for the surfeit of TV in my life, but I think there is validity in TV and movies, and what they have to say. I say this because, all during this failure-centric thought process, this section from Finding Forrester has been running through my mind:

" Someone I once knew wrote that we walk away from our dreams.afraid that we may fail, or worse yet,afraid we may succeed."

I don't know what the answer is. Maybe it's just "work hard" and maybe the answer will kind of.... find me, once I find the right thing I'm supposed to do with my next few years. I don't want to be an aimless wanderer.

I think it's all so daunting because there's no "safe place" anymore. It's this feeling like treading water.... with no end in sight. You can't just... stop. I have to keep working, keep advancing, keep preparing for the future.

I'm so paralyzed by it all. And meanwhile, I want nothing more than to write for online magazines, and I do nothing. partly "afraid that I might fail, but worse yet, afraid that I might succeed." But to be honest, a big part of it is just laziness. And that's sad. But if you don't try, you can't fail. It's easier not to try. For so many reasons.